The following story is not my own. It is, however, incredibly hysterical and thus I felt the need to share it with the world. The "owner" of this story has given me exclusive rights to publish it as long as I keep it anonymous, so I zip my lip and will never tell.
The Urine Sample
During a doctors appointment recently, a wonderful young woman named....Sue....was asked that oh so familiar favor: Can you give a urine sample? Sue was filled with glee because she had purposefully sustained from using the bathroom before the appointment just so she could give the best sample she could muster if the need arised.
So off to the bathroom skipped Sue where she filled that cup to the brim with the most fantastic urine sample ever to be expelled in the history of man kind. Satisfied with her sample she prepared to pass it through the door. Now if you have never experienced this process (which if you haven't, you might want to look into a check up every now and again) let me explain what the door is. Usually in the bathroom of spiffy doctors offices there is a little door in the wall next to the toliet. If you open this door there is a small space, like a cubby, to put your urine sample in. On the other side of this cubby is another door that leads to the lab area. This is so the urine sample goes straight from you, through the wall, and into the lab, reducing contamination and the embarassement of walking around the halls with your own urine in your hand.
So Sue, being a thoughtful and hygenic woman, decided that she would fold up a paper towel and place it below the urine cup to prevent any germ spreading. She gets her towel with her left hand and holds the urine in her right (pay attention now, this stuff is important). She uses her right hand to open the door and proceeds to place the paper towel in the cubby. During the short period of time between the opening of the door and the placing of the towel, Sue realizes that the door is infact spring-loaded. She realizes this fact because the door is quickly rushing towards her right hand....the hand with the pee. Though Sue is known for her catlike reflexes she is just not catlike enough. The door collides with her right hand which looses the grip on the urine cup. The cup smashes into the cubby and bursts open, spilling her fantastic urine sample.
A rush of thoughts race through Sue's mind. She isn't sure if her urine is now seaping through the cracks of the door and down the wall of the lab or just puddling in the cubby. She is still not sure what just happened. But most importantly, how will she create more pee? She quickly cleans up the urine soaked cubby and walls and starts to attempt the impossible. In the end she was able to come up with a semi-sufficent amount and walk out of the bathroom as if nothing happened having now spent 10-15 minutes in the bathroom.
Now you must know that I was told this story over dinner at Pei-Wei with people evesdropping all around us. Perhaps it was funnier then but I still believe that if you didn't at least muster a giggle during that sad tale that you need to go get a new sense of humor, because yours has obviously expired.
The Urine Sample
During a doctors appointment recently, a wonderful young woman named....Sue....was asked that oh so familiar favor: Can you give a urine sample? Sue was filled with glee because she had purposefully sustained from using the bathroom before the appointment just so she could give the best sample she could muster if the need arised.
So off to the bathroom skipped Sue where she filled that cup to the brim with the most fantastic urine sample ever to be expelled in the history of man kind. Satisfied with her sample she prepared to pass it through the door. Now if you have never experienced this process (which if you haven't, you might want to look into a check up every now and again) let me explain what the door is. Usually in the bathroom of spiffy doctors offices there is a little door in the wall next to the toliet. If you open this door there is a small space, like a cubby, to put your urine sample in. On the other side of this cubby is another door that leads to the lab area. This is so the urine sample goes straight from you, through the wall, and into the lab, reducing contamination and the embarassement of walking around the halls with your own urine in your hand.
So Sue, being a thoughtful and hygenic woman, decided that she would fold up a paper towel and place it below the urine cup to prevent any germ spreading. She gets her towel with her left hand and holds the urine in her right (pay attention now, this stuff is important). She uses her right hand to open the door and proceeds to place the paper towel in the cubby. During the short period of time between the opening of the door and the placing of the towel, Sue realizes that the door is infact spring-loaded. She realizes this fact because the door is quickly rushing towards her right hand....the hand with the pee. Though Sue is known for her catlike reflexes she is just not catlike enough. The door collides with her right hand which looses the grip on the urine cup. The cup smashes into the cubby and bursts open, spilling her fantastic urine sample.
A rush of thoughts race through Sue's mind. She isn't sure if her urine is now seaping through the cracks of the door and down the wall of the lab or just puddling in the cubby. She is still not sure what just happened. But most importantly, how will she create more pee? She quickly cleans up the urine soaked cubby and walls and starts to attempt the impossible. In the end she was able to come up with a semi-sufficent amount and walk out of the bathroom as if nothing happened having now spent 10-15 minutes in the bathroom.
Now you must know that I was told this story over dinner at Pei-Wei with people evesdropping all around us. Perhaps it was funnier then but I still believe that if you didn't at least muster a giggle during that sad tale that you need to go get a new sense of humor, because yours has obviously expired.
1 comment:
Oh, that poor woman! She must have been mortified!
I wonder what I would do if that happened to me.... hmmm....
Post a Comment